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'Team TSZ' is a collective FPL team where tough decisions are made during uncompromising board room meetings. Team TSZ finished a lofty 1390 in its debut year, and followed that up with a respectable 88178 in its second season. we don't talk about the third season. How will the fourth season go? Stay tuned!
‘Team TSZ’ consists of:
HOW DID WE GET ON IN GAMEWEEK 32?
GW points: 60
GW average: 48
GW rank: 2,167,159
Overall rank: 161,032 (▼)
Team TSZ struggled through a fairly disappointing Gameweek 32, taking 12 points over the average of 48 for another mini red arrow that makes breaking the top 100k look something of a pipe dream once again. Captaining Harry Kane over Mo Salah proved a fruitful call that saved the gameweek from total obscurity in what proved to be a pretty unpredictable weekend.
Level-headed Team TSZ stalwart Trystan Pugh is away on another stag do, probably, so this week’s decisions have been left in the capable hands of Alex ‘due a goal’ Sarwar. I look forward to hearing how Sean Dyche’s shock sacking today will affect his Burnley-based prophecies. My predictions are that he will call: Big Sam sure to come in. Maxwell Cornet now due two goals after his superb miss last weekend. Ben Mee due a goal despite not playing due to injury as a newly-appointed temporary co-caretaker-manager-player-coach or whatever on Earth is going on at Turf Moor.
DOUBLE GAMEWEEK 33 TEAM
Formation: 3-4-3
Captain: Kane
Vice-captain: Salah
Transfers made: Doherty > Keane / Raphinha > Kulusevski
Point deductions: 0
“Oh dear, or dear” said Alex after logging in. Every week either Trystan or Alex lament at the sight of this FPL squad as if it is a surprise to them, as if they had no agency over their past decisions. It was quickly revealed to me that Trystan had in fact not relinquished total control to Alex, who had not been provided the login details to make executive decisions on the team. So with last week’s article for guidance, we worked out that there was £0 and two transfers to play with. Alex would then have to send his ‘decisions’ via WhatsApp for Trystan’s ‘approval’. Take what is said here with a pinch of salt, as Trystan may get itchy overnight or more likely be too hungover tomorrow morning to action anything at all.
“I wouldn’t want to go anywhere near Burnley” said Alex, spoiling my Bingo sheet in one sentence. Alex was more concerned with rebuilding his Bernardo Silva bandwagon now that Kevin De Bruyne has been ruled out with a strong case of Atletico Madrid-itus. The Portuguese did, admittedly, thrive in De Bruyne’s absence but I hear the Pep Roulette already click-clacking itself silly with an FA Cup semi-final against Liverpool to play first on Saturday.
After some deliberation, made harder by the fact Alex essentially had to guess what might work thanks to Trystan not trusting him with the login deets, the obvious choice seemed to be transferring out a suspended Matt Doherty to fellow Spurs wingback Sergio Reguilon or perhaps Emerson Royal for some money back. This clearly seemed too safe to Alex, however, now mad with power. Raphinha’s blank means the Brazilian almost certainly won’t somehow score 10 points from absolutely nowhere and the pull of Dejan Kulusevski’s remarkable start to his Premier League career was simply too strong to resist. Raphinha to Kulusevski seems a sensible one-week swap here, and Trystan will probably support it.
What Trystan will likely balk at, though, is Alex’s second transfer. Having enjoyed some returns from his own Everton assets over the last few gameweeks, Alex suggested bringing in Michael Keane to face a Leicester City side prone to conceding set-pieces. “Hmmmm” I said. To no effect, it seems, as Trystan dis indeed receive a message detailing Raphinha -> Kulusevski and Doherty -> Keane. I can picture him now, spitting out his 12th pint of the day.
With the transfers picked, I ‘helped’ team selection by suggesting how annoying it would be if Team TSZ played just one of their two Southampton forwards only to see the benched man reap rewards. So, over to you Armando Broja and Che Adams. I’m only 150 points behind Team TSZ in our staff league… Don’t let me down.
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