'Team TSZ' is a collective FPL team where tough decisions are made during uncompromising board room meetings. Team TSZ finished a lofty 1390 in its debut year, and followed that up with a respectable 88178 in its second season. How will the third season go? Stay tuned!
‘Team TSZ’ consists of:
HOW DID WE GET ON IN BLANK GAMEWEEK 36?
GW points: 53
GW average: 38
GW rank: 1,298,305
Overall rank: 158,892 (▲)
It’s Gameweek something or other in this endless maelstrom of a Premier League season and as Alex remarked on our skype call today: “if this team where a real one it would be on the beach”. How nice that proverbial beach sounds where players from teams between 10th and 17th go towards the end of the season to bask in their mediocrity. Arsenal have their own hut there so that they can visit year-round and they occasionally rent it out to Everton which, as you can see, allowed Sheffield United a chance at un-relegation. By the way I am petitioning the Premier League to introduce ‘Un-relegation’ from next season whereby once a side is mathematically down they can earn their place back if they beat anyone chasing Europe – a bit like those chairs of cruelty they had on ‘The X Factor’.
Something I had not been advocating for was ‘keepers going up for last minute corners, especially when drawing a match, but all that’s out of the window now. I can’t remember the last time I cried (I usually have a couple of sobs when either Trystan or Alex says “okay hear me out”) but this weekend was an emotional onslaught with returning fans at the FA Cup making football sound like football again and Alisson, who has been through more of it than most this season, scoring a last-minute winner. I am sure he is thoroughly relieved he scored it sans-moustache.
Team TSZ turtled along a tiny green arrow in Gameweek 36 and, barring a couple of massive scores in GW37 and GW38, their target of reaching the top 100k has been missed by a county mile. A county mile is 58,892 people long, by the way, I’ve just googled it.
GAMEWEEK 37 TEAM
Formation: 3-5-2
Captain: Greenwood
Vice-captain: Kane
Transfers made: 1 (Jota > Greenwood)
Point deductions: 0
When Alisson scored on Sunday evening my jubilance quickly turned to eye-rolling as I realised we would never hear the end of this from Alex, who had brought Liverpool’s newest target man into his side as a final roll of the dice. Alex has been rolling that dice for over half a year and the edges have worn down so that it is more a less just a marble now. He then quickly lost that marble by bringing in Roberto Firmino for a second time this season.
This week’s Wrong Goalkeeper sponsored by The Stats Zone is: Ederson. He was wrong last week too but that was because he didn’t even take to the field.
A need for Manchester Utd assets this week saw a Mason Greenwood for Diogo Jota quickly proffered by an ailing Trystan, who started today’s call off by saying how much he hates our team. At this stage it is unclear if he meant the staff at The Stats Zone or Team TSZ but I didn’t want to ask. Because Jota was injured, and because they couldn’t afford Bruno Fernandes, Greenwood was neatly brought into the side and then almost as quickly captained. Bringing in a player and captaining them immediately is something that I have never seen come to fruition before, and I know that first-hand because that was my only strategy in FPL circa 2014-2019, but the wheels have clearly come off here.
You can tell that both Trystan and Alex have given up because the only meaningful discussion today was who to bench out of Nat Phillips and Cesar Aspilicueta and I don't even remember them deciding.
Thanks for reading, and good luck in the gameweek!
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